Doing the dishes - a litmus test

I've recently discovered a strange but very effective way of testing if a guy is considerate or not: Dishwashing.

Most guys will seem nice and kind in everyday conversation because we don't see them do anything. But it's their attitude towards chores and how they treat females that they are not interested in, that's when we see their real character, because after 20+ years of marriage and the motivating passion is gone, you need a guy whose character is solidly built.

I've recently had two opportunities to observe guys and how they approach dishwashing. One Chinese student of mine, after eating a dessert soup that I cooked and invited and another to enjoy, eagerly told me to sit down, he'll take care of it, and brought the used bowls and utensils to the sink, making like he was going to wash them. To my surprise and amusement, his whole act only consisted of bringing the bowls from the kitchen table to the sink 7 feet away and filling the stack of dirty bowls with some water from the faucet. He left the bowls there for me to wash. Gee, thanks. And the other Chinese student of mine didn't even offer to help. So both fail the litmus test of a considerate gentleman.

Today, I happened to be in the kitchen making breakfast when my British hallmate came in for breakfast too. He fixed up a bowl of oatmeal while I had my veggie soup, and we talked and chatted over breakfast. After I was done, I put my bowl in the sink, tossed away my trash, but just as I was about to wash my bowl, I realized that the trash can lid was malfunctioning (it's one of those step and open types), so I bent down, looked, and tried to fix it. After I fixed it, my hallmate had finished his meal and was washing his dish at the sink. I now had to wait for him to wash his bowl before I could wash mine. As I stood there, I thought, you know, a female hallmate would probably have just washed my bowl for me, since she was washing and had her hands wet anyway. It's a small and unnecessary gesture of kindness, but that's what I would do and that's what my female friends have done for me, and heck, it's what my brother-in-law does. But after my hallmate left and I started washing my bowl and spoon in the sink, I thought, yet another one has failed in the considerate man litmus test. I think I've only met two guys in my life who have been genuinely considerate, even to girls that aren't their girlfriends. A good Brother takes care of all his Sisters, not just his wife. I think when I find someone who passes the dishwashing litmus test, he'll be the one for me. :)